Welcome to the Healthy Pickle

Get Pickled: The Realistic Alternative to Getting Healthy 🥒😏

Let’s be honest—everything is bad for you now.
📱 Your phone? Radiation.
🕯️ Candles? Toxins.
🍎 Your food? Pesticides.
💧 Your water? Microplastics.
Even going outside is apparently bad if the air quality sucks.

So… what’s a normal person supposed to do?
Do we throw out everything we own, move to a remote village, and live off sunlight? (No thanks.)

Instead, let’s do something more realistic.
Let’s get pickled. 🥒😏

What Does “Getting Pickled” Even Mean?

It’s not about being perfect. (Because who has time - or money - for that?) It’s about making small, daily choices that actually move the needle on your health without making life miserable.

✅ Growing some of your own food (because store-bought veggies are sad and expensive)
✅ Eating vegetarian (but making sure you get enough protein & nutrients—without losing your cheese privileges)
✅ Getting some movement in (even if it’s just stretching or a lazy walk)
✅ Taking vitamins, drinking water, & reducing toxic overload (without burning your house down)
✅ Learning from the world’s healthiest countries (because they figured some things out that we didn’t)

Basically:
We’re here for the long game—not quick fixes, extreme diets, or wellness trends that cost more than rent.

Wait… Are Pickles Even Healthy?

Short answer? They’re healthy-ish.

Let’s break it down:
➡ Cucumbers = The overachiever of health. (Hydrating, full of fiber & vitamins, low in sodium.)
➡ Pickles = The fun, sassy version that still has benefits—but with a salty side. 😏

If you ferment them (instead of using vinegar), you gain probiotics—which is a gut health bonus you wouldn’t get from a plain cucumber.

So, in The Healthy Pickle mindset:
✔ Cucumbers are your “perfectly healthy” friend who drinks green juice at 6 AM.
✔ Pickles are their fun bestie who still has their life together but enjoys a little seasoning.

Balanced health, not perfection, right? 🥒😏

Why “Perfect Health” is a Scam

Let’s talk about why traditional wellness culture is exhausting:

🚨 It’s all or nothing.
If you’re not eating 100% organic, meditating at sunrise, and doing yoga while sipping a $15 green juice, you're a fat slob who doesn't care about themselves or the environment.

💰 It’s expensive.
You don’t need $100 supplements, overpriced adaptogens, or a gym membership that costs more than your car insurance.

😵‍💫 It’s overwhelming.
One day coffee is good, the next it’s killing you. Same with eggs. Same with bread. It's literally non-stop.

🙄 It’s unrealistic.
Most people can’t dedicate their entire life to “wellness.” We have jobs, families, stress, and sometimes just want a damn cookie.

The Healthy Pickle Approach: Health, But Make It Realistic

Forget what every influencer and social media post has ever told you. Everyone is on their own health journey.

Here’s what Getting Pickled looks like in real life:

🥗 Eating better without making it a chore. Small swaps, little victories, and realizing that (insert hated vegetable here) isn't so bad.

🏃‍♀️ Moving your body, even just a little. A bit of stretching in the morning, using the furthest bathroom at work, parking farther away... little things add up!

🌱 Growing some of your own food. Even in a small apartment, you can still use hydroponics or grow some herbs on your balcony!

💧 Drinking more water & taking your damn vitamins. (It's me, I need to take my damn vitamins)

🧘‍♀️ Taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. This includes faith, prayer, sleep, and saying no to things that drain you (hello somebody).

5 Realistic Ways to Start "Getting Pickled" Today

If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you don't even know where to begin, here are five tiny, manageable changes you can make today:

Drink More Water (No, Seriously)

Most of us are chronically dehydrated, and that affects your energy, skin, digestion, and even your mood. If you do nothing else today, drink an extra glass of water.

If you really hate water (calling out my mom here) try adding some vitamins or electrolytes to them for some added flavor. Steep some lemon or cucumbers in it if you're feeling boujee.

Personally, I find that having a big-ass water bottle with a straw dramatically increases the amount of water I drink each day. If water bottles could act as an emotional support object, my Simple Modern 40 oz beast would be it. It's like a Stanley, but less basic. Plus it comes in many pickle-tastic colors 🥒😏

Upgrade ONE Meal

Forget calorie counting or macro tracking—just make one meal better than usual.

• Add a handful of veggies to your lunch.

• Swap your sugary cereal for something with protein & fiber.

• Eat a real breakfast instead of just coffee.

• Throw chia seeds into something.

Walk for 10 Minutes (Yes, Just 10)

Not everyone wants to lift weights or do HIIT workouts. And that’s fine. Just walk.

• Take a lap around your block.

• Walk while you're on a phone call.

• Pace around your kitchen like you're waiting for good news.

Bonus points if your 10 minute walk happens after you eat something - did someone say excellent digestion? 😏

Reduce One Toxin

You don’t have to throw out every “toxic” thing you own. Instead, swap out ONE:

• Switch your candles to a natural soy or beeswax version.

• Ditch plastic water bottles for a reusable one.

• Try a non-toxic deodorant

• Invest in an air purifier

I recently got the Yuka App and quickly realized that everything I own is trash - including all of the expensive skincare I've bought in good faith. I recently swapped it out for Caudalie serum and moisturizer, and my skin feels FRESH.

Start Your Day with Gratitude or Prayer

Wellness isn’t just about food & exercise—it’s also about your mindset and faith.

• Write down 3 things you’re grateful for.

• Read a short devotional or Bible verse.

• Take 5 deep breaths before diving into the chaos of the day.

The Bottom Line: Start Where You Are.

You don’t have to be perfectly healthy to be healthier.
You don’t have to do everything to do something.
Every little change adds up.

So forget getting "healthy." Get pickled instead. 🥒😏

Pick ONE tiny change to make this week. Drink more water? Swap one meal for a healthier version? Walk for 10 minutes?